7:24 AM

glad to have met him cos at the end of the day, it's still the best to have ur love being appreciated.. quoted from qiuling when i asked her abt her new bf which she just met him for a short while. 2:05 PM

hmmm... not to mention anything.. i seriously sense someting strange already... maybe its a revenge or someting for my acts but im already sry for it.. Alot of things from u could make me think that something funny is really going on.. But im not going to ask whats happening.. ur daily attitude doesnt show interests anymore.. hmmm maybe the gap is really too big already.. i guess i make some preparation in case someting happen.. my weak heart cannot take anymore downs.. Pls end my torment.. Or assure me.. 10:57 AM

maybe i have been sucha loser for quite a long time that me myself cant take it anymore... recently when the irritating feeling comes and haunt me, theres like this strong feeling inside me fighting it back.. i wanted to give up but it dont let me.. well for once, i need to show everyone what im capable of... i shall not surrender to the given circumstances so easily... studies?friends?family?money?girlfren? i make them right.. looking around myself, i have noticed since right after secondary sch, everyone's been changing quite alot.. just that whether they change for the better or change for the worst.. well im in no position to say that but honestly i do propose an idea to whoever of u who are reading this post... 1. Ask yourself do u still regconize urself.
2. How much of ur life have changed. 3. Touch your heart and ask urself.. Are u really feeling good by behaving in this way?

Thats what i proposed.. Theres no answer to it.. The only answer lies within urself... No doubt that everyone changes.. Let me re-emphasize abt it again.. Everyone changes just that whether u change for the better or for the worst... Talking about changing.. Me myself have changed quite alot too.. No doubt i used to be a person who used to accomplish things by taking shortcuts.. Shortcuts that was by making other people suffer or underhand methods.. i know that i cant escape from what i did b4 but one thing i am sure about it.. im really trying to change and get the regconition from other people.. theres no way i can undo my mistakes but pls forgive me for what i did..

Although times are hard now regardless of whatever scenario im living in.. i will nt submit to it..
Friends-- I will do what i can to maintain it as long as possible. The rest is up to u all
Family-- Im old enough to return the happiness that u all gave me when im a child
Girlfriend-- I am sorry for my selfish attitude. I do hope u could give me one more chance to restart everything again.
Everyone-- Pls give me the encouragement that i need to continue my path.. Sometimes, i really feel terrible.


From now on.. No shortcuts, no giving up. I will use my own hardwork to qualifed in this world.




Trust me and be rest assured 3:01 PM

I admit that for this sem i didnt study at all and all i can do now is blame myself... im vexed but i dont know what im vexed about.. theres too much things on my mind.. friends, girlfriend, studies,future and my studying attitude... why is everyting happening to me all at the same time.. i may sound fine but everyday inside me.. i feeling v miserable.. im nt a superman nor a wonderman. im just a person with flesh n blood and most importantly.. i have emotions.. theres just too many problems that my heart is facing right now.. i tried to speak out how i feel but no one ever really pay attention to what im saying and forget abt it.. i know that i was the one who triggered all these problems but seriously.. can i just be forgiven and being cared?

I write my own stories
I listen to my own problem
I console myself
I encourage myself
I wipe my own tears


in the end... who cared for me? 11:44 AM

its been like 18 years already.. i kept on telling myself that i'll work hard.. luck is not always on my side. this 18 years tat i've been through.. did i once ever put in effort in e things i did... maybe i did but im am certain that isnt the maximum of my capabilities... and now.. im facing the ultimate scenario of getting kicked out by my sch.. and i have only 1 and a 1/2 week to fight for my future.. i know i will study but how much effort would i put in? IM SO STRESSED.. and there isnt raelly anyone who's our there to care for me.. im always bearing things inside of me.. 9:07 AM

well 2dae spent the day with my darling coming to my house having some pimple session.. HaHa.. really very grateful=).. well after that guess we couldnt go anyelse where too so went to 201 and had dinner.. Then suddenly my stomach hurt like hell and i started to have cold pespiration... My vision was blurred and my hearing is at the most minimum capability.. Wanted to went toliet but all the cubicles was occupied and i was lyk wondering how long i can still live..
I was about to collapse and faint but i figured out that i couldnt be sucha sissy to collapse in a kopitiam.. KOPITIAM?!?! yea.. its kopitiam and i don want to be crowded by aunties and uncles after i collapse so i held on.. and then decided to stood up and went to east cc... AHHHH... finally found a cubicle.. but ... i dont have the feeling of shitting.. Lol... then i sit on the toliet bowl and fell asleep for awhile.. waahaha.. donno y.. i woke up very soon and my stomach pain have subsided.. well but my dizzyness is still there so went to buy all sorts of food trying to replenish my blood.. haha.. well i guess i can treat that as a close shave with death.. haha.. Im really grateful that my darling is there.. I wouldnt be able to walk so far if its w/o her company.. Thanks.. Once again.. I love u=) 7:29 AM